"Dear Ben,
Ben is that perfect son-in-law that parents could only wish for:
Always polite and with a German accent you can only adore.
But Sint doesn't trust polite Germans and sent out Piet to investigate,
Because to outsiders it might appear he does nothing but drink beer and procrastinate.
That looks are deceptive very soon became clear,
As Ben has been an exceptionally busy chap this year.
You traveled around the world like some rock star,
Four weddings and a funeral of your beloved car.
You have a big heart and are always there for your mates,
So much so that you would help them move house in all mental states.
Sint wonders if your friends were there to give you a hand,
To help with your Umzug which was naturally organized ahead of time and well-planned.
You are also very keen to help do something fun at your friends Filipino wedding,
Showing an informative video about the groom which was about as funny as a public beheading.
Little do they know that for some of your friends you keep a dossier,
With powerpoint slides which prove that they are unmistakably gay.
The Sint himself wears a dress and thinks it is ok to do so for a fella,
So he does not question your own sexual orientation, not even when you are Bella.
Evidence has emerged that you were already pouring beers.
And cycling around naked at the tender age of five years,
Maybe the bike would be a good replacement for your recently deceased car,
To help you purge your smoked out lungs from years of deposits of tar.
Where ever there is smoke, there is fire they say,
And what else can you do with fire if not play?
Simply light A4 sheets of paper and throw them out of the window,
Who cares anyway what is below.
But the Sint thought about this and has come to understand,
That it would be much more fun if there is a beer strapped in each hand.
Your favorite game is Edward Beer-hands, we have been told,
So go and put on your costume because this game never gets old.
Sint and Piet"
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Der vorliegende Text wurde mir vor wenigen Tagen von einer vertrauenswürdigen holländischen Quelle unter genannten Titel zugespielt, die Ben* recht gut kennt. Deren Informanden liegen im Dunkeln, es gibt über deren Identität allenfalls Vermutungen. Anlass war eine Art niederländisches Nikolausfest ("Sint" von "Sinterklaas" und seinem Begleiter dem "Zwarte Piet"), bei der der Beschenkte ein spöttisches Gedicht über sich selber in versammelter Runde verlesen muss. Jenes soll sich im Hause unseres Mitbloggers am vergangenen Wochenende in Anwesenheit auch seiner "Schwiegereltern" ereignet haben, woher der abgedruckte Text stamme.